Oh man. You survived one week, but can you survive another? Here’s part 2 of 2 in the ongoing, “Somebody Please Bring Phil Back” Reviews. Let’s Do this dance!
Ultimatum #3 (of 5) Writer: Jeph Loeb Artist: David Finch
Jeph Loeb makes my whole body feel anger all at once. I was verbally angry while I read this, pretty consistently saying “UGH” out loud, like a bad Peanuts cartoon. He literally hasn’t been good since he was with Tim Sale, and if you’re wondering, Finch IS NOT Tim Sale. This is why Loeb got fired from Heroes, the stuff he makes is useless, stupid, and painful. SPOILER ALERT. I’m just gunna list a couple things that happen in this issue. Giant-Man bites off the Blob’s head. Immovable, but not uneatable… Nightcrawler’s Dead, just kinda there. Captain America and Thor fight for Valkyrie’s life in Valhalla and the excessively hairy Thor sacrifices himself for her life. Multiple Man gets an arrow in the face. Giant Man takes a bunch of kamikaze Multiple Men into a river and blows himself up. Some kind of team joins together. The End. Now if any of you read that and went “OMG HELL YES!!!” stop reading this. It makes my insides hurt, and that’s not just because I drink a lot of soda. It’s bad. Stop it.
Ultimate X-men #100 Writer: Aron E. Coliete Artist: Mark Brooks
Oh how the mighty have fallen. After starting solid with Mark Millar, moving onto fine work by both Bendis and Vaughan, and then flying into mediocrity under Kirkman, Coliete has managed to kill Ultimate X-men. This is another representation of the entire problem with the Ultimate Line. Hopefully Mephisto just wipes everything clean and starts over. He should do the same for some of the Marvel office.
Wolverine Origins #34 Writer: Daniel Way Artist: Dougie Braithwaite
This has gotten better, but I’m just gunna be a stickler for continuity. Nick Fury is exiled and gone in Secret Warriors, but now working with Wolverine. That sword that killed Sabretooth has suddenly shown up again. And Daken is working with the Dark Avengers but suddenly completely on his own here. The inconsistencies seem trivial, but they just begin to pile up. So close to being something special, but just not quite.
Moon Knight #28 Writer: Mike Benson Artist: Jefte Palo
Want a comic where the main character is only in costume for a panel of the last page? Well, here ya go. It’s been about 2 or 3 issues straight of no main character in costume, and I’m still bored. I was okay when Finch was drawing this, it worked, but since he and Charlie Huston left, this has fallen apart. What once was an interesting solid read has fallen off the tracks. Cancel, re-tool, or something, just put us all out of our misery.
Air #7 Writer: G. Willow Wilson Artist: M.K. Perker
This is a dollar so I really shouldn’t complain. Remember how James Jean was pretentious? Well, he looks like a stand-up comedian compared to Wilson, who spews out some trite stuff about the work on the book. Again, this kind of stuff makes my brain hurt, and drives the readers away. And for being a “great jumping on point!” it didn’t seem to make much sense. Another book that started off well and just didn’t go anywhere.
Eternals #9
There weren’t any clear credits in this, I dunno who really worked on what part of this. I just know that the Eternals hasn’t worked even when Neil Gaiman tried to revitalize them. It sounds like this is the end of the series, and I kind of hope it is. It’s been painful and confusing, and this issue was no exception. Wrap it up and try again later, maybe.
Ender’s Game: Battle School #4 (of 5) Writer: Christopher Yost Artist: Pasqual Ferry.
As a child of the 90’s I have read Ender’s Game, and this is a perfectly faithful interpretation. My problem is that I have an imagination. I don’t need to see this drawn and created in a way I don’t conceive in my mind. I don’t understand the need for picture to go along with the ideas I already have in my mind. I read this and think “of course it’s good, but what’s the point.” Worth reading if you’ve never read the book, but seriously, read the book instead.
Azrael #1 (of 3) Writer: Fabian Nicieza Artist: Frazer Irving
Azrael??? What is this, 1993?
And that’s all. Before I go, I just wanna say screw U of A, and Utah has seriously let me down this week. Shame.
“The” Dan Jacka
Why all Marvel? There are other publishers, you know: IDW, Dynamite Entertainment, Top Cow, etc. While I miss Phil’s stuff, it’s nice to have another voice and perspective in here. Hope they let you alternate with He Who Knows All.