Ultimate Captain America Annual #1 — Writer: Jeph Loeb; Art: Marko Djurdjevic
If you liked Ultimates 3… well, never mind; it’d be too easy to insult you, but anyway here’s a sort of sequel to it, trying to fill in the Black Panther/Cap relationship that made no sense in the series itself. The cover’s symptomatic of the book: a replay of an earlier Cap Annual cover with Wolverine, only this time with the Panther instead. Why? Because it’s easier than coming up with an original idea, apparently; there’s no story reason to justify it. Loeb plays it straight here, which is considerably duller than when he’s having characters punch the Watcher, and the lack of imagination and confusing storytelling make this just kind of sad; it isn’t really even worth making fun of.
Rann-Thanagar: Holy War #6 ( of 8 ) — Writer: Jim Starlin; Pencils: Ron Lim and Jim Starlin; Inks: Rob Hunter and Al Milgrom
More of the same old cosmic soup, as our small band of plucky heroes tries to figure out how to fight an absurdly-overpowered foe named Thanos… no, wait, the Magus… no, the Lord Papal… er, Darkseid? Oh, yeah: Synnar — not that it matters, since it’s all the same song, with minor variations in tune, that Starlin’s been playing for decades. That doesn’t make it bad, mind you, but it does make it very familiar, and easy to pass up.
Thor #11 — Writer: J. Michael Straczynski; Penciler: Olivier Coipel; Inkers: Mark Morales, Danny Miki and Andy Lanning
This is readable — it’s not like Straczynski doesn’t know how to set up a smooth story — and the art has even grown on me a little (it gives off a cold Northern Viking vibe that fits, although it still feels too Bart Searsian, and the tag-team inking doesn’t help). The big problem here, as always with Thor, is Loki — even as a female with shaved eyebrows, the idea that (s)he’s able to profess innocence and manipulate everyone behind the scenes just falls flat — for immortals, how stupid do the Asgardians have to be? Maybe they’re just fated to have a blind spot about the trickster god, but it’s still hard to take a story seriously when the characters have to act like idiots for it to work.
Superman #681 — Writer: James Robinson; Penciller: Renato Guedes; Inker: Wilson Magalhaes
Remember in the early ’90s, when the Superman books were all interconnected, and DC used little triangles on the covers to tell readers which order to read the books in? Well, someone’s decided that the franchise needs to weave everything together again, along with stuff like the Jimmy Olson and Superman: New Krypton specials the last few weeks, so now the little triangles are back, too, and we’ve got a hundred thousand super-powered Kryptonians living at the North Pole, and while you’d think that would be interesting, it’s actually pretty dull — and not helped by the last-page appearance of another character from the early ’90s, one that we really, really never needed to see again (seriously: pick up the book and check out that last page — but be careful not to strain your face when you roll your eyes at it).
1985 #6 (of 6) — Writer: Mark Millar; Art: Tommy Lee Edwards
And… we’re done, as Millar’s what-if-the-Marvel-characters-bled-into-the-real-world tale wraps up. The initially-intriguing premise stumbles when the explanation and resolution turn out to be dull and unsatisfying; this is an idea that might have worked best as a one-shot, since stretching it into six issues makes it so thin that it just collapses into disappointment. There are a few good bits, including the father’ fate, but overall it’s one of those stories whose plot summary makes it sound a lot better than it actually is in execution.
DC Universe: Decisions #4 (of 4) — Writers: Judd Winnick and Bill Willingham; Penciller: Howard Porter; Inker: Wayne Faucher
Speaking of thin stories… my (un)educated guess about this weak, predictable political pap is that DC suddenly realized an election was coming up, turned to Willingham and Winnick because they happened to be hanging around the office, and said “Super-heroes endorse politicians. Four issues. Need it in a week. Go!” Unfortunately, the three creators, instead of meshing and playing to each others’ strengths, seem to accentuate their weaknesses; Porter’s art looks rushed, the story goes exactly where you’d expect it to, and the result lacks any glimmer of characterization, wit or reason to buy it.
Captain Action #1 — Writer: Fabian Nicieza; Art: Mark Sparacio; Fantomas story: Paul Kupperberg/Roy Mann; Mandrake story: Mike Bullock/Samicier Gonclaves
Only ten pages of the main character, with the back-ups being six pages each. Readers who didn’t pick up the “0” issue a few months ago won’t know what’s going on, and even those who do will find little to engage them here; there’s just no space to develop anything, especially considering that the characters inhabit a big, confusing new universe with superheroes we’ve never heard of, and a long backstory that we don’t care about. The Jim Shooter introduction, about being assigned to create the original Captain Action series back in 1966, when he was 14 and working for DC, is considerably more interesting than the actual book.
Phil Mateer
