Phil's Reviews — Stuff I Read and Put Back #94

Ms. Marvel #32 — Writer: Brian Reed;  Penciler: Paulo Siqueira;  Inker: Amilton Santos
There was some talk about “torture porn” a few weeks ago, when Nightwing #149 came out, and this book ought to continue the debate, as we get a tale of Carol Danvers, pre-super-powers, as a fighter pilot who crashes in Afghanistan, gets captured by rebels, and is, yes, tortured for most of the book: stripped to her bra and panties, tied to a chair, shocked with electrical prods, fingernails pulled out, broken leg abused, forearm smashed into jelly with a sledgehammer… and then, of course, being a hero, she fights back, knocking out her captor by hitting him with the smashed forearm (bones sticking out and all), and then picking up the massive sledgehammer with her one good arm and… well, never mind; it’s moronic, badly plotted and badly drawn, and an embarrassment to all concerned — God help us if some soccer mom gets ahold of this, and we’re forced to defend it.

Thunderbolts #125 — Writer: Christos Gage;  Artist: Fernando Blanco
Yet another Secret Invasion tie-in, as we get the climactic battle in New York from the Thunderbolts’ perspective (with some dialogue and splash pages duplicating events from the mini-series), only this time with really muddy, ugly, badly-composed art. If you liked the Warren Ellis version of this title, you’ll find nothing to attract you here, and since there’s no actual conclusion, and a brand-new creative team next issue, there’s absolutely no reason to buy this book.

Unknown Soldier #1 — Writer: Joshua Dysart;  Art: Alberto Ponticelli
In Uganda, a Harvard-educated doctor (who emigrated to the US when he was seven, married, and now has returned) ministers to the poor, but has violent nightmares that eventually bleed through to the present when he encounters rebel soldiers in the back country. Readers looking for any connection to past Unknown Soldier series are going to be disappointed, since Dysart seems to be doing an African Punisher riff here instead (the main character hears voices telling him “Rebels. Corrupt leaders. Arms dealers… anyone who profits from misery… you could kill them all”). The art’s so-so; it’s much better at the everyday-life scenes than ones where, say, a character gouges his face repeatedly with a sharp rock (which comes off looking more badly-rendered than horrific). There isn’t much here to resonate with American comics readers; like many Vertigo titles, it’ll probably last 12 or 18 issues, sell fewer than 10,000 copies a month, get collected into a couple of low-selling trades, and then disappear.

Superman: New Krypton Special #1 — Writers: Geoff Johns, James Robinson, Sterling Gates;  Pencillers: Pete Woods. Gary Frank, Renato Guedes;  Inkers: Pete Woods, Jon Sibal, Wilson Magalhaes
Remember last week, when the Jimmy Olson special left its story unresolved, but told us to go read this to find out what happened next? Well, no, it isn’t resolved here either; instead, this is one of those set-up-the-next-year’s-continuity books, as there’s now a full-grown Kryptonian city at the North Pole, complete with Supergirl’s parents and lots of other super-powered Kryptonians, and the US military (who now have a captured Brainiac) isn’t happy about it. This kind of development is so world-altering that it can’t possibly last (bet you a dollar that there’ll be a Brainiac/Luthor team-up, and that the city’s back in the bottle before summer), and meantime there’s lots of angsting about Pa’s death (leavened somewhat by a few pages of quiet, effective Frank art), and many plot balls thrown into the air and left there. Yeah, great, but why should we all have to pay $4 for what’s basically a commercial for the regular Superman titles?

Rest #1 — Writer: Mark Powers;  Art: Shawn McManus and Lizzy John;  “Producer”: Milo Ventimiglia
Ventimiglia doesn’t seem to do more than lend his name to the credits — although presumably he came up with the “idea,” which involves the invention of a drug that lets you stay up 24 hours a day, with no side effects… yet. What do you do with your extra six hours? Party, apparently. Frankly, it’s not much of an idea, and it’s not executed particularly well, and the odds of it being around long enough to work into anything are almost nonexistent.

Ghost Rider: Danny Ketch #1 (of 5) — Writer: Simon Spurrier;  Penciler: Javier Saltares;  Inker: Tom Palmer
For fans of the ’90s series, I suppose — it has the same dark, hard-to-see art, and the same portentious, violence-laced storytelling, dependent on the reader’s knowledge of the character’s complicated continuity to make any sense.  I never saw the attraction to it then, and I don’t now.

Phil Mateer