Hulk #3 — Writer: Jeph Loeb; Penciler: Ed McGuinness; Inker: Dexter Vines
Well, it’s a big, sloppy, loud mess, although I suppose if I was 10 years old all the big red and green and blue people punching one another would seem cool. Not being ten, though, and having read a large number of previous Hulk stories, I’d have to argue this is one of the most aggressively stupid comics currently punishing a gullible public (the giant robot Harpies were a particularly surreal, pointless touch). There’s no reason to buy this; you can flip through it and absorb the little entertainment and story value it offers in less than two minutes.
Countdown to Final Crisis #1 (of -51) — Writers: Paul Dini with Keith Giffen; Penciler: Tom Derenick; Inker: Wayne Faucher
This functions as an epilogue, with little action (after the issue-long fight last time), and what’s amazing, looking back over 51 issues and a year, is how little has changed. Ray Palmer is back in costume, Mary Marvel is childishly “bad,” the Trickster is, possibly, dead, and there’s a new team to “monitor the Monitors.” Does anyone out there care? After over $150 of comics, this hasn’t built up to anything or left its readers with any satisfying resolutions; it’s been hundreds of pages of mediocre art and story, signifying nothing at all, an enormous creative vacuum that’s sucked the life out of the DC Universe. Weekly.
Thor #8 — Writer: J. Michael Straczynski; Penciller: Marko Djurdjevic; Inks: Danny Miki and Crimelab Studios
Straczynski, at least, knows how to set up themes, create some emotional resonance, and even surprise the reader, but we’re eight issues in, and it still feels like the introductory episode. You know how you get into the middle of a movie, and it’s dragging, and you sneak a look at your cell phone to see what time it is, and how much more of your life you’re going to be spending sitting there? That’s the feeling I’m getting from this book right now.
Ms. Marvel #26 — Writer: Brian Reed; Pencils: Adriana Melo; Inks: Mariah Benes
If you’re really hopped up about Secret Invasion, get this book, because there’s a lot of Skrully action in it, and it’s done well enough. Reed avoids most of the pitfalls inherent in a “who’s the real one?” tale like this, and his Aaron Stack duplicates the Warren Ellis version from Nextwave nicely (the whiny Monica Rambeau LMD is a particularly good bit). So, why did I read it and put it back? Two strikes: it’s a small piece of a big mega-event, dependent on other books to give it meaning, and while it’s a competent superhero story it just can’t seem to generate enough of its own voice to stand out and demand to be bought.
X-Force #3 — Writers: Craig Kyle and Christopher Yost; Artist: Clayton Crain
Much like Hulk, this offers a perfect storm of bad comics: the story is bloated and hard to follow, pulling together close to a dozen lame anti-mutant antagonists from previous X-history, and the art is all shadows and darkness, presumably to help hide the artist’s inability to draw any of the characters to model, or even to scale. Issue #1 of this title was the top-selling comic three months ago; with any justice, reader revulsion will knock it out of the top ten by issue #5, and it will be cancelled by issue #12.
Superman/Batman #47 — Writers: Michael Green and Mike Johnson; Penciller: Shane Davis; Inker: Matt “Batt” Banning
Another writing-for-the-trade misfire, as a concept that would have made a decent two-parter gets stretched to six, with lazy writing (The secret government base devoted to finding ways to kill/disable Superman: how many of those have we seen over the last five years? And why do writers not named Ostrander find it so hard to write an Amanda Waller who’s actually in character?), and a last page that shoots for “dramatic” and hits “silly” instead.
Phil Mateer
