Suburban Glamour #1 (of 4) — Writer/Artist: Jamie McKelvie
This is a stylish-looking book, and it tries to do for American suburban highschoolers what Blue Monday does for their British counterparts, but instead of mostly humor and hijinx we get a fantasy plot that seems a little too tacked-on. McKelvie’s got a striking sense of design, with dialogue and fashion that ring true and engaging characters, but there’s some stiffness to his action sequences, and this kind of story doesn’t play to his strengths — the monsters on the last page don’t look particularly threatening or realistic, and I’m not optimistic about how next issue’s fight is going to come off. I’d be happy to be proved wrong, though; there’s a lot worth liking here.
Killing Girl #3 (of 5) — Writer: Glen Brunswick; Art: Toby Cypress
Remember how the only good thing about the first two issues of this series was the Frank Espinosa art? Well, he’s gone, replaced by a feeble attempt to mimic his style, and it’s all the surface similarities without the pizzazz. That leaves the story, which was mediocre-TV level at best, and features lots of running around and shooting to try to keep us from noticing that it makes no sense. It doesn’t; neither would buying this book.
The Ride Halloween Special: The Key to Survival — Writer/Artist: Tomm Coker
Soft-core torture porn. The art’s competent, in it’s black-and-white photo-referenced way, but the story’s just a rehash of Texas Chainsaw Massacre-type cliches, with the religion-quoting maniac, the cannibal sister down the well, the gagged victim whose gag stays in even after her hands are free (because, apparently, it’s sexier to draw gagged women), and so on. It’s a step above Avatar, or those horrible Wildstorm slasher adaptations, because it at least treats its heroine with some respect (except for the gag), but that’s not enough to actually recommend it.
Captain America: The Chosen #3 (of 6) — Writer: David Morrell; Artist: Mitch Breitweiser
Now, at the halfway mark, we start to get the explanation of What’s Actually Going On, and as predicted it’s, well, stupid. See, Cap’s dying from… something, wasting away, but his Super-Soldier brain, when hooked up to Army technology, can now project his thoughts, and — oh, never mind; just trust me: it’s stupid. If you were waiting to see if this was going to get good before trying it, I think you can save your money.
Penance: Relentless #2 (of 5) — Writer: Paul Jenkins; Artist: Paul Gulacy
Speaking of stupid… the Gulacy art is always worth a look, but the idea of this character is so over-the-top, with his SM gear and his little hoop earrings and his ill-defined sparkly powers and his bald, tortured flesh, that there’s just no way to take it seriously. As with Ed Wood movies, it might be worth the $3 just to be able to make fun of it, but at least Wood thought he was making art; Jenkins is only picking up a check. For him, having this book on his reseume will be penance enough.
Countdown #28 (of, I guess, 51, unless they do a “0” issue at the end….) — Writers: Paul Dini and Tony Bedard; Breakdowns: Keith Giffen; Pencils: Al Barrionuevo; Inks: Art Thibert
As a full-service reviewer, I thought I should check in on this series, to see if it’s gotten any better. No, it hasn’t — it’s still just quick slices of the Rogues, Jimmy Olsen, the multiverse-hoppers, etc. We aren’t actually getting a story; we’re getting two-five pages a week of each plot, and after almost six months there’s no resolution, no tension and no point. (Consumer tip: if you do buy this, read it last each week, since it tends to give away major plot points in the other DC books that have shipped with it. This week’s victim: New Gods #1.)
Highwaymen #5 (of 5) — Writers: Marc Bernardin and Adam Freeman; Artist: Lee Garbett
The creators of this title have been speculating on the Internet over the last few months, wondering why it didn’t sell. Now that we’re at the end of the story, I think the simple answer is that, while it wasn’t bad, it wasn’t that good either. It was like watching a slightly-above-average buddy-detective TV show (actually, I imagine the pitch was, let’s take I Spy, age the characters 30 years and make the white one British, and then see what happens). It was competent, and an enjoyable waste of an hour or so, but in today’s crowded comic market was that worth $15? Apparently not.
Superman Confidential #7 — Writers: Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti; Penciller: Koi Turnbull; Inker: Sandra Hope
Better than last issue, since it concludes the story and therefore makes more sense, but the plot still looks like it took ten minutes to construct (The Lois-is-dead cliffhanger from last month? Robot.), and the art insists on giving both Clark and Superman massive square-jawed Bart Searsian faces. The only “confidential” part of this book, right now, is that it’s not really that good.
Phil Mateer
