Mayhem #1 — Writers: Tyrese Gibson, Mike Le and William Wilson; Art: Tone Rodriguez
It would be easy to be a hater here, but let’s at least acknowledge that Gibson is a legitimate comics fan, and that should count for something. However, this isn’t good: it’s what a moderately-talented 18-year-old who’d read a lot of early-’90s Image comics would produce: an urban avenger with big guns and a penchant for violence. To give you an idea of its problems, there’s a scene where Mayhem has taken seven shots at the bad guys (a helpful “bam!” marking each one), and one of them sneers “That gun only holds seven bullets. You’re out, my friend.” Yeah, but Our Hero’s big thing is that he has two guns (he’s always posed in action holding one in each fist), so there’s a second gun right there, and yet no one mentions it. Three writers listed on this book, and no one noticed that? Then, a panel later, the guns have vanished, and instead Mayhem’s holding a detonator that he presses, setting off a huge C-4 explosion on the ship that he’s on, too, and it vaporizes the bad guys — but not him, because he was carefully standing a few more feet away from the blast than the bad guys were. Uh-huh. This is all a few panels after he’s been swimming deep underwater — which hasn’t made him or his costume wet, or affected the guns or detonator in any way. The whole book — both story and art — is like that: enthusiastic, but knocked-off and careless, and with nothing to make a reader want to come back for another issue.
Chew #3 — Writer: John Layman; Art: Rob Guillory
I continue to be less than impressed with this title, despite its popularity. Layman’s imagination propels it — the central conceit is intriguing — and yet it’s all a little… off. For example, there’s a new character in this issue, with another eating-related power: she can write about food so vividly that a reader or listener can actually, literally taste it. The problem is that, as with Mayhem, the story is carelessly told: see, the whole plot is that she’s a newspaper food writer, and she’s bored, so she writes about really bad food in her columns, and it makes everyone who reads it throw up — and she’s been doing this for the last two months. Now: even putting aside that no one actually reads newspapers any more, she’s been writing these make-people-vomit columns for two months? And people are still reading them? And the paper doesn’t have, you know, an editor, who would have noticed the problem before the first column was ever published? Or a copyeditor? Or a proofreader? This doesn’t make a lick of sense, and the whole book’s been like that: great ideas, poorly executed. What it needs is its own editor — but because, like Mayhem, it’s an Image book, there’s no one around; the creators package the story, and Image just publishes it. Too bad, because with an outside professional to help craft the story and force a second or third draft, this could have been a decent comic, instead of an interesting failure.
The Hangman #1 (of 1) — Writer: J. Michael Staczynski; Penciller: Tom Derenick; Inker: Bill Sienkiewicz
This is the first of Straczynski’s reimagining of the former MLJ/Archie/Red Circle/Impact line of characters, and it’s… OK, I guess. The whole caught-between-heaven-and-hell thing seems derivative of Straczynski’s own Book of Souls (or Midnight Nation), and the character’s powers aren’t well-defined (getting shot hurts him, but he heals right away, and his hangman’s rope does… something. Oh, yeah, and there’s a spectral horse.). It’s not terrible, and it’s nice to see Sienkiewicz’s inks (Straczynski and Sienkiewicz on the same book; there’s a proofreader’s nightmare), but as the initial offering of a new line, this didn’t do its job: I’m not particularly looking forward to the rest of the titles.
Doom Patrol #1 — (Main story/20 pgs.) — Writer: Keith Giffen; Penciller: Matthew Clark; Inker: Livesay; (Metal Men/10 pgs.) — Writers: Giffen and Dematteis; Art: Kevin Maguire
Yet another attempt to revive these characters, and even less successful than the last few — Giffen offers, as always, pro work, but it’s densely written, and not very accessible to new readers. Without them — and, really, who today cares about a robot, a guy wrapped in bandages, and a big woman? — the fan base for this book is restricted to older readers with fond memories of the original series, and how many of that group are even reading comics any more — or can even still see? The backup Metal Men story, by the ’80s bwah-ha-ha JLA team, should probably have been the lead — fans of that book are at least not so ancient and burdened with cataracts that they can still appreciate the Maguire art and the mordant humor.
North 40 #2 — Writer: Aaron Williams; Artist: Fiona Staples
Not a bad second issue — its tale of a small Southern town where everyone’s caught up in Lovecraftian elder-gods chaos reminds me of Stephen King, in its deceptively casual, crystal-clear characterization of all the players, and its easily-grasped division between good guys and bad guys. Add the art, which is good at both the people and the monsters, and you have a nook worth keeping an eye on.
Hulk #13 — Writer: Jeph Loeb; Penciller: Ed McGuinness; Inker: Tom Palmer
Eeesh. Same bad dialogue and generic art as always, with the added problem that nothing actually happens in this issue. I mean it: people stand around talking, and the entire thing is about how Bruce Banner isn’t the Hulk anymore, and won’t ever be again. Every Hulk writer takes a shot at one of these “Hulk No More!” stories sooner or later, and this one is even more boring than the rest, just because we’ve seen so many times already, and none of us believe it, even a little. Oh, and after the #600 issue last time, this one is #13. That’s symptomatic of the general who-cares attitude of this title, and, since it links Hulk to both Mayhem and Chew, spotlights a common problem with bad comics, and as good a theme as any on which to end this week’s column.
Phil Mateer
